Unrequited love?
by Keisuke-chan
Summary: A slash between Jaejoong and Changmin from DBSK TVXQ. Jaejoong has been looking at Changmin in a new way. Will he have the courage to tell him?
1. Chapter 1

Jaejoong sat in the dressing room hugging his knees. If anyone had come in they would probably accuse him of being depressed. That was only about half right he was more in a thought coma.

Jaejoong kept thinking about the way he had been acting recently. He had tried to ignore it but it had been three months since it started. He knew that if he carried on any further he would risk breaking the band up. The thought of losing any of his fellow members brought tears to his eyes.

The problem was that Jaejoong had been "noticing" Changmin. He found he could tell the way Changmin felt by the smile he used. He noticed that he kept tension in his shoulders and how his butt looked in his favorite jeans. Jaejoong also caught himself looking at Changmin when they changed for performances.

He felt like he was falling for Changmin and it hurt him deeply. He knew he would never be able to confess his love. Even though confessing would cause trouble the thought of having unrequited love hurt just as much.

Jaejoong never thought that he'd turn out gay. Growing up he had loved women but when he joined Dong Bang Shin Ki he felt his lust start to disappear. He didn't feel the need to see women anymore. He assumed he had just gotten through puberty finally. There were signs of course, like looking at men's butts or thinking a man was god looking but he brushed them off.

As Jaejoong was thinking about all of this Yunho entered the room and asked, "What's up? You look like crap."

"No I'm fine," Jaejoong said shaking his head and smiling. "I just lost something and was trying to figure out where it was."

"What was it? Maybe I've seen it."

"No it's not important. Thanks anyway."

Jaejoong flashed Yunho a smile and started for the door. When he opened the door Changmin was on the other side. Jaejoong had a shocked look on his face but quickly recovered. He bowed to Changmin as he entered than quickly retreated.

"What's with Jaejoong?" Changmin asked Yunho sitting down.

"He said he lost something, beyond that I don't know," he replied.

Changmin sorted through his stuff for the performance and couldn't help but wonder about Jaejoong. Usually they're very close but lately Jaejoong's been avoiding him. Changmin was sad at the thought of not spending time with him and wondered what he had done wrong. He was starting to get fed up with trying to figure out what he did. He would have given up if it hadn't been for the fact that Jaejoong was so important to him.

As he was looking through his stuff he decided he was going to confront Jaejoong after tonight's performance. He just wanted to be able to hang out with him again. He saw no reason to be apart and didn't want to worry over this anymore.

Now that it was decided what he was going to do he decided to take a small nap before they had to go on stage. He went into a corner and curled up putting his jacket beneath his head as a pillow of sorts. Before he closed his eyes he wished to have another dream.


	2. Chapter 2

Jaejoong leaned against the door and took a deep breath. He hated that he couldn't even look Changmin in the face without feeling awkward. Even though he wasn't saying anything he was ruining their friendship.

It made him angry with himself that he couldn't act as though everything was okay. What kind of man was he if he let his emotions get the better of him? COuldn't he just ignore them?

He just kept thinking these types of things as he wandered around. It got to him that his love was depressing him. Love was supposed to be a happy thing. Something that would make you smile even in your darkest of times.

"Why couldn't I have fallen for Boa? Hell Bou would even be better," Jaejoong said exasperated.

"Has our Jaejoong found someone to love?" Junsu asked.

"What? No!"

"Then what's this falling for Boa?"

"No you misunderstand. I fell on someone today and it was embarrassing so I just wish it was on someone I felt more comfortable with," Jaejoong lied.

"If you say so. What are you up to anyway?"

"Just wandering around until it's time to get ready for the show."

"Well Yoochin and I were going to grab a bite to eat. Did you want to join us?"

"Sure, why not?"

Jaejoong followed Junsu wondering if he could keep a happy façade. It seemed the only time it didn't affect him was when he was on stage. He still had a few hours before then to get through.

Changmin was going over his moves for the perfprmance. He was so involved he didn't notice Jaejoong come into the room and start watching him. He was putting his all into rehearsal and perhaps he put a little too much into it. On a simple turn he over spun and twisted his ankle.

Jaejoong sprang up and ran over to Changmin. He looked at his ankle and saw that it was beginning to swell. He looked at Changmin eyes full of worry.

"Are you okay?" Jaejoong asked seriously.

"I'm okay," Changmin lied. "I just need to walk it off."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Changmin got to his knees favoring the twisted ankle. Jaejoong offered him support as he got to his feet. He took a step forward and if it weren't for Jaejoong he would be on the floor it hurt so bad.

"You're fine my ass," Jaejoong said scooping him up in his arms.

"Hyung put me down!" Changmin exclaimed. "I can walk I promise."

"Changmin give it up. I'm going to carry you to bed and you're going to rest.

"But-"

"No buts."

Jaejoong carried him into his room and gently placed him on the bed. He made sure Changmin was as comfortable as possible. He was about to leave when Changmin asked him to stay.

He sat down next to the bed and made small talk. He of course wondered why Changmin wanted hime to stay but decided it didn't matter. He was thinking that he would stay until he fell asleep.

"Hyung could you come closer?" Changman asked quietly.

Jaejoong nodded and leaned forward in his chair but Changmin asked him to get even closer. Jaejoong climbed on the bed getting inches away from him. He stared into his eyes waiting for him to speak.

"Hyung I'm sorry. I can no longer keep it to myself," Changmin said eyes filled to the brim with tears.

"Keep what?" Jaejoong asked concerned.

Instead of verbalizing what he had locked inside he did what he'd been wanting to do for years. He took Jaejoong's face in his hands and put a seal on him. His eyes were closed and tears were spilling out as he kissed the man he was in love with for the past four years. He didn't want to break out of this moment because he knew that when he did their friendship would be over.

"I'm sorry hyung," Changmin cried breaking apart. "I couldn't lie to myself anymore. I had to let you know that I love you and I know you don't feel the same way so just forget about this. I promise to stay out of your way."

"Nonsense. I'm the oppa and I don't want you to worry. Don't hide your feelings."

"But I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

"But Changminnie I'm not," Jaejoong said lifting him up to put his own seal on Changmin. "Love is best when it's returned."

Changmin and Jaejoong collapsed in each other's arms letting their love be expressed through their bodies. Their lips searched eagerly for the others. But before their love could be fully expressed Yunho woke Changmin.

"Time to get ready."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N Just want to apologize for the lateness of this chapter college got in the way. One more and it'll be done. After this ends I'm going to do a one shot with Mickey and Junsu. Thanks for your patience

"Damn I never get to finish that dream," Changmin said under his breath. "Where is everyone?"

"They went and got something to eat," Yunho replied. "They should be back any minute. Well we should get dressed."

"Yeah you're right," said Changmin taking off his shirt.

Yunho and Changmin started getting ready as everyone else came back from lunch. When Jaejoong came into the room he had to avert his eyes because he knew that if he kept looking at Changmin he'd end up saluting to his love. That would make for some awkward changing.

Jaejoong went into the corner and focused only on changing. He could hear everyone else joking around as they changed and he had to try his best not to turn around. He even had to push the sound of Changmin's voice out of his mind so he wouldn't become aroused.

Changmin looked over at Jaejoong remembering the dream he had not five minutes ago. He pulled his shirt over his head and walked over to Jaejoong. He hesitated a moment before he placed his hand on Jaejoong's shoulder. "Hey did you have a good lunch?"

"Changmin!" Jaejoong said jumping. "Um, it was fine. You uh, all ready for the show?"  
"Yeah, do you need any help?"

"No!" Jaejoong shouted knowing that if Changmin helped dress him he wouldn't be able to stop himself. "I mean I'm almost ready myself. Just need to put on my shirt then I'm good to go."

"Okay," Changmin said walking away.

_Stupid stupid stupid! _Jaejoong thought to himself. _Why do you have to be so damn awkward with him now?_ Jaejoong finished getting dressed quickly and proceeded with the preparations for the show. He kept focusing himself on the fact that he would be on stage soon.

As he was getting his hair and make-up done Changmin kept looking at Jaejoong wondering if he would be able to talk to him before the concert. It was really getting to him that their friendship seemed to be in trouble. He knew he couldn't talk about his dreams but he thought maybe he could find out what he had done to make him feel so uncomfortable.

Changmin started over to Jaejoong but before he could reach him Junsu put his arm around his shoulders. "Ready Changmin?"

"You bet Xiah," Changmin replied his heart sinking. "Let's do our best."

The moment Jaejoong stepped on stage his shoulders felt like their weight had been lifted. He put every ounce of his spirit into performing so he could crash when it was over. Even though he watched Changmin during the performance it wouldn't affect him until the show was over and he was lying in bed thinking about it.

As Jaejoong left the stage after the encore he consciously decided to leave backstage as slow as possible to avoid Changmin changing. He knew that Changmin usually dressed as fast as possible because he was still embarrassed about his body hair even though they had all seen it many times. He walked into the dressing room and started to undress but he quickly noticed that not only was Changmin still there but he hadn't changed at all.

"Hyung, why have you been avoiding me?" Changmin asked with a pained expression. "Tell me what I've done wrong."

"Changmin, you haven't done anything wrong," Jaejoong said quickly. "I just have some things I'm sorting through."

"Why don't you talk to me and maybe I can help you with it."

"No I don't think you could. I mean it's something I have to deal with."

"Jaejoong! What is so touchy that you can't talk to me about it?" Changmin exclaimed. "We've been so close this whole time and now you can't talk to me. Do you know how much that hurts?"

"Of course I do! Do you think that I like not being able to talk to you? Just forget it."

Jaejoong started to walk away but ended up tripping over a pair of Yunho's shoes. It was as if he was filming Dangerous Love again only it was Changmin instead of Yunho who caught him. Every part of his rational mind told him to move as quick as possible but his body seemed to disagree with his mind. All he did was stare up at the face that caused his heart to beat faster.

Changmin didn't know how he managed to get to Jaejoong in enough time to catch him. He felt his hands getting sweaty so he tightened his grasp. He saw Jaejoong gasp and start to breathe faster. What could this mean?


	4. Chapter 4

A/N Sorry for the long time to finish this but I had trouble getting this last chapter to feel right. I did my best and hope it's a satisfying end.

Jaejoong opened his mouth to speak but nothing seemed to come out. He felt like a floundering fish and was pretty sure he looked like one. "And you said we weren't close," Jaejoong said at his lame attempt at a joke.

"That's not close Hyung," Changmin said grasping him tighter, "this is close."

Jaejoong gasped as he felt Changmin's strength as he was pulled flush against his small body. He didn't know what to do because it seemed like his heart was screaming louder than his brain. He quickly jumped out of Changmin's arms as his last effort to keep their friendship intact.

"I'll see you at the house," Jaejoong said walking to the door.

"You're not going anywhere. I asked the others keep us in here til we sorted things out. They can feel the tension between us too. The only reason they haven't said anything is because you've been able to perform like normal, but how long until this leaks onto the stage?"

"Minnie-ah, you're blowing this out of proportion," Jaejoong said hoping Changmin would believe him.

"Jae! When I walk in a room, you walk out. During rehearsals you change the choreography so you're on the other side of the room. You eat dinner at the kitchen counter and lock yourself in your work room when we have free time. How can you say I'm blowing this out of proportion!" Changmin ranted on the verge of tears.

"Min!" Jaejoong cried taking a step forward before he could stop himself.

"See there you go again. You start to do or say something then you stop. Just tell me what's wrong."

"I told you there's nothing wrong."

"You're lying, just tell me the truth I can handle it."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I just can't."

"But why?"

"Because I'm afraid I'll lose you," Jaejoong finally said. "I mean…"

"Jae you're closer to losing me doing what you're doing now than if you were to tell me what was bothering you."

"I just can't, I really can't," Jaejoong said tears starting to fall.

"Try, please," Changmin said his own tears falling.

"Changmin how can I? How can I say that every time I see you I just want to hold you? When I watch you sing all I can think about is kissing you. When we're on stage singing our songs, the only one I'm singing to is you. How can I say all that without losing you as a friend."

"You're right. You can't say that without losing me as a friend." Changmin said crossing the distance between them. "But that loss can be filled, with gaining me as a boyfriend. That is, if you'll have me."

"What?"

"Jae, with all your worrying you never noticed me stealing glances and trying my hardest to be close to you. Jae I've loved you for a long time."

"But you never said anything," Jaejoong said a puzzled look on his face.

"I was scared just like you. It's just that I was happy just being able to be around you and have dreams like my porn videos where you were my leading man."

"You had those type of dreams about me?" Jaejoong asked blushing.

"Can you tell me you haven't had the same type of dreams involving me?"

"No."

"I knew it."

Jaejoong smiled at Changmin and watched as his eyes became uneven which was a sign of him being truly happy. "I wasn't lying Jae, I really love you."

Jaejoong scooped Changmin into his arms and kissed him. He broke the kiss just long enough to say I love you too.

---------------------------

"It's gotten quiet in there you think they made up?" Junsu asked as he, Yoochun, and Yunho waited outside.

"Either that or one of them is dead while the other plots how to get rid of the body," Yoochun joked.

"Let's peek in," Junsu said reaching for the door handle.

"No. We don't want to interrupt them if they haven't made up," Yunho said in an authoritative voice.

"Please Yunho," Junsu said looking like a little kid begging for a cookie before dinner.

"Fine just be quiet so they don't notice us," Yunho caved.

Junsu smiled and opened the door quietly. What met their eyes were half naked Jaejoong and Changmin making out. Yunho quickly shut the door tried to block out what he just saw.

"Aw, that's so great," Yoochun said grabbing Junsu's hand.

"Now we just need to find someone for Yunho," Junsu said already running candidates through his head while Yunho just shook his head.


End file.
